Righto.

Game I.

Good play on the weekend. Once again it’s late in the week and I’ve forgotten who did what during the match. This has been made worse by the fact that there were two matches played over the long weekend.

Our first, against 9^th placed Western Suburbs at Happy Valley, was a pretty clinical performance. We scored six goals, two each to Ben and Hadyn “Jonesy” Jones (As my ringer, I get credited with his goals - Whammy), and one apiece to Dan (finally scored in the right net) and Monty (welcome back son). We started with Jules and Monty up front, going for all out pace to try to upset them early. We needn’t have worried too much as most of them had been drinking before, then during and of course after the match.

Ben scored first, latching on to a through ball down into the left side corner, controlling then bringing it back toward the goal, squeezing it past the advancing keeper at the near post. Jules and Monty waited unmarked in front of goal. Monty then scored after a nice build up down the right wing, the ball passed across the face of goal and Monty struck from with deadly accuracy, Jules waiting just beyond him unmarked in front of goal. Jones got his head behind a delightful corner (I think by Donnie), making the score 3-0.

The second half and the BNUPS play pretty much descended into one of those line-up to shoot type days we got accustomed to in the first few games of the season. Jones got his second, then Dan scored an absolute ripper, chesting down a corner (from Donnie? – its usually Donnie), before slamming home for his first goal scored for us this season. They got one back after some BNUPS hesitancy at the top of the box, allowed the only shot against us of the weekend. Gibbs was going the right way, right up until Gimli, who otherwise had an outstanding game, stuck his foot out. A cruel deflection rolled just inside the far post, mere inches out of the reach of a hopelessly diving Gibbs.

We scored one more, through Ben, courtesy of the biggest shocker you will ever see a goalkeeper have. A clearance by Gibbs was headed forward by Donnie, and chased down by Ben. The keeper came out to meet it and give it an almighty thump, but sadly he miscued and ended up kicking nothing but fresh air. The crowd and indeed everyone had a good laugh, and Ben, who hadn’t stopped chasing, ran past the stricken keeper to nudge home the goal.

We had about a million shots at goal, Ben admits he fell into the classic striker’s mentality and stopped looking up, missed several passes to open team mates in pursuit of his hat trick goal. Overall though it was a good effort and shows that after a bit of a midseason speed bump we are back on the goal scoring band wagon.

Servant of the Match: Jules. Ran his nuts off the whole game in both defence and attack. Set up a few goals, would have scored about 10 more but for the final pass.

Dick of the Day: Hard to pick one, though it would be easy if the other team were eligible cos the keeper would win hands down. Sadly and reluctantly we might have it to give it to Gimli for his deflection. But, nah, that’s a bit harsh. I think someone missed an absolute sitter, I forget who. However you are, you are the Dick of the Day.

Special mention goes to Phil. A superb effort, reffing the whole game. Good work son, an extra ration of rum to that man.

The team: June 2^nd vs Western Suburbs

Dom
Arnu	Mortgage		MattNich
Jules
Nick	Donnie	Ben	Dan
	Monty	AJ
Subs	Gimli	Jones
Ref	Phil
Absentees	Jarrod	Sam	Phil (Injured)
	BC	Johnny
Goals	1st	2nd
	Ben 15’	Jones 60’
	Monty 30’	Dan 65’
	Jones 40’	Ben 80’

Game II.

Monday had us at Nairnville Park in Kandallah vs the other Uni team, Uni Lateral. These guys were fourth on the table coming into the game following some solid results. But we were confident. A good crowd of supporters came along, thanks supporters. We had had a win a day earlier, and we totally have the best uniforms. They were a bunch of emo’s fresh from a lecture on computer science or media studies.

HUGE KUDOS goes to Gimzaghi (see photo). Long may it continue. Dude, I reckon you played better too. Shoelaces may become compulsory. (Damn our uniform is cool). I apologise for the picture if its crap, my computer is crap and stroppy.

We smashed in four in the first half in easily our best 45 minutes of football this year. The backs played intelligently, the midfield completely owned the midfield, and the forwards were everywhere and put away the goals. It could have been greater too, as Monty failed to put away two decent chances inside the first two minutes. He didn’t miss a third time and at half time Monty had scored two, matched by two from Golden Boot leader Ben. One of these included the “best team goal of the season”. I quote Donnie here who remembered it a bit better than me. “This one was like a sweet five or six pass move up the left, all one touch stuff”, Donnie says. “The early part is a bit fuzzy, some sort of interchange between Jules and Dan on half way after a ball forward by someone. Then Jules hit a ball forward to me in the middle, and both of them ran forward ahead of me, Dan down the line and Jules into the box. I hit a one touch through ball ahead of Dan, past their fullback into the left corner. Dan ran onto it and crossed it low first time from the outline to Jules who let the ball go through to Monty (or Ben?) who hit it first time low into the left hand corner. Schmoooooove like silk,” he mused.

Half time and we again took the foot off the throat. To their credit they played pretty hard in the second half but we appeared to be flaccid in front of goal. They had a few fairly handy players including a big ging, who Jules admits gave him some good competition and a big blonde golliwog who shouted a lot and didn’t pass the ball. But once again we owned the middle of the park. The most telling statistic, if we recorded stats, would be the time in possession. We held the ball exceptionally well. Playing the ball out from goal was extremely effective as both wingbacks took short goal kicks regularly up to half way for attacks on goal. It was surprising that despite the considerable number of short kicks, probably at least three quarters of all goal kicks, it still seemed to come as a surprise to the opposition when we took a short goal kick. Only once was Dan put under any pressure when Gibbs kicked the ball to him at left back. This is the sort of play we want to see every week.

Servant of the Match: Dan and MattNich on the left side (with help from Jones)

Dick of the Day: Again a hard one to pick as it was a very good day for everyone. It would be harsh and Monty will probably have a hissy but perhaps the attack for not scoring more? Their defence really was pretty ordinary, though their goalkeeper was quite good and kept the lads out with some impressive saves, particularly a very nice strike by Donnie into the top right corner which produced the save of the game, at least from my view, and I’m a hundred metres away. Maybe Gibbs deserves it for a clearance he said he had covered which he then kicked straight into the head of one of their team, where it went back across the face of goal and indeed almost into his own net. Or maybe it just doesn’t get awarded this week.

Well played lads.

The team: June 4^th vs Uni Lateral

Dom
Johnny	Mortgage		MattNich
Gimli
Nick	Donnie	Ben	Dan
	Monty	Jules
Subs	Arnu	Jones
Ref
Absentees	AJ	Sam	Jarrod
	BC	Johnny	Phil
Goals	1st	2nd
	Monty 10’	Monty 60’
	Ben 15’
	Monty 25’
	Ben 45’

The points table

Normal service has resumed

The sun crept over the hills flooding the pleasant valley with warmth. The heavy dew from the night before still clung to the earth stubbornly resisting the sun. A gentle breeze floated through the trees and over the fields. All was still and peaceful.

The tranquillity was brutally shattered by a 10 year old boy. They whip he used, probably a gift from a loved one, snapped and banged angrily, the noise reverberating off the close hills. It mixed with the shouts and whistles of the women’s rugby match with the tuneful beauty that you find when mixing Black Sabbath with The Cardiff Boys Choir singing “Jerusalem”. Yip, we had arrived in Stokes Valley. Our opponents, the Stokes Valley Sunshine, at that point second on the table, looked ready for a hefty tussle. Spiked hair, mullets and spiked mullets adorned the heads of the Vallians. For a moment we thought we were playing the wrong team as they all looked to be under the age of 25, an uncommon occurrence in our division.

Recent Public Service (PS) results had failed to impress. A one all draw with league strugglers the Uni Bombers the week before had left some smouldering embers of discontent. Within 10 minutes of kick off, those embers were alight. The Vallians immediately brought the attack to the PS defence. The first ten minutes was a case of both teams testing for possible breakpoints in the defensive line. The Vallians brought with them a hard competitive style of play. Ben Gleisner came under particular attention throughout the match, and was victim to a two foot, studs up, from behind tackle, that would normally have resulted in an instant red card, and a lengthy sideline suspension. However, Div 13 does not offer the luxury referees with such power and despite a free-kick, Ben’s assailant went unpunished, though this scribe suggests that Mr. Gleisner probably got his own back on more than one occasion. In fact they enjoyed such a mighty first half tussle filled with niggle, agro and argy-bargy, that there could be only one winner. It’s a testament to Ben that the prick failed to make an appearance in the second half.

But, to the match commentary we turn. The embers were well and truly ablaze at about the 15 minute mark. After weathering 15 minutes of sustained pressure, though admittedly the Vallians were still to put a real shot on goal, the PS started to take control of proceedings. Gaps suddenly started to appear. Sam Gleisner, having shifted from right back to striker was immediately in action. A punt from Dom was kindly headed toward the Valley goal by a valley defender, right into the path of Sam. A rush blood saw a hastily taken shot, that slid past the right hand upright, but the tide had turned. Minutes later, Sam went from possible hero to automatic Dick of the Day. A perfectly weighted through ball by BC (I think) was chased down by Sam who beat the keeper in a one-on-one but when faced with the ultimately test of the open goal, was found sadly wanting. In fairness, the ball was on his wrong foot, but actually he could have walked the ball into the goal. Despite the miss, the PS could smell blood.

And for the next 20 minutes, the lads played like they had just passed the “every third day is the beer day” bill. The PS opened the scoring with one of the goals of the year. It was memorable not for its Michael Jackson flashiness but for its simplicity and because it was a product of some excellent build up work. A chase by Phil down into the left corner resulted in a corner kick. Phil put in the perfect cross, picked out the head of the imposing BC who thundered home his first of the season.

It had been a while since we had played good football. The self belief flooded back and the whole team lifted and blew the Sunshine away. Jules, a late arrival, came running on and with his first touch of the ball found a very determined Sam, who calmly controlled and crashed home a great finish. The midfield, which consisted at different times of BC, Jules, MattNich, Arnu, Phil, Donnie, Mortgage, Sam, Ben, Nick, AJ, Gimli, and Dan absolutely owned their opposite numbers. 50-50 ball was suddenly 80-20 to us, with fearless heading and competing for the ball. Credit to the Vallians, who had a quick and competitive midfield but lacked imagination and organisation.

The third goal about 10 minutes later, was another example of solid build up work. My memory sucks so I forget the build up details but BC got it about 12 yards out and hammered home a low shot that went underneath a keeper who should have done better. At three nil up the PS strangely took the foot off the throat and coasted through to half time feeling much better about the position they were in.

There were a couple of halftime diatribes about maintaining focus and making sure we didn’t concede any damn consolation goals. The MattNich favourite of nil-all was shouted repeatedly. We expected the Vallians to come out in the second half like a high profile homosexual, i.e. with conviction. They did not disappoint, and while the first half showed some the boundless attacking potential of the PS, the real credit must go to the various defenders, Jules, Arnu, Nick, Gimli, Ben, Dan, MattNich, Sam, Phil, Donnie, BC, AJ and Mortage, who rotated through the four defensive positions with remarkable fluidity, poise and success. The second half was largely a defensive arm wrestle, as the PS went to subcommittees and lost some shape. Ben was once again was the target of the now very desperate Sunshine, coping a near Ben-Thatcher-esque elbow to the head. A cowardly attempt to upset the PS midfielder failed to provoke the desired violent reaction.

On attack the PS were foiled by some dubious offside calls and a clueless ref, but probably didn’t really deserve any second half goals. So when the fourth goal was awarded, on the stroke of fulltime it was considered a very luck bonus. A goal mouth melee for a bobbling ball that the keeper simply could not get his hands on was finally headed into the goal by an ever present BC for a well deserved hat-trick.

A welcome back to utility Andrew ‘AJ’ Johnson, who made his 2007 season debut. A strong performance first up he showed pace and determination that proved inspirational to the team, reflected by the excellent result.

We have a double header this Queen’s birthday weekend against Wests on Saturday and Uni Lateral on Monday. We need a couple of wins to solidify our top of the table position.

STARTING XI: vs Stokes Valley Sunshine 26/05/07
Dom
Sam	Gimli	Mortgage
	Ben
Nick	BC	MattNich
	Phil
	Arnu	Aj
SUBS
	Jules
	Donnie
	Dan
GOALS
	1st Half	2nd Half
	BC 18’	BC 90’
	Sam 25’
	BC 35’

BNU Public Service Golden Boot
Ben	7
Phil	7
Jarrod	5
Jules	3
Donnie	3
BC	3
Arnu	1
Fynny	1
Gimli	1
Sam	1

BNU Public Servant of the Day (SOD)
vs Karori Swifts (6-1)	Phil
vs Island Bay Piglets (8-0)	Phil
vs Stokes Valley Destroyers (9-0)	Ben
vs Wainuiomata (0-0)	Gimli
vs BNU Pints (4-1)	Donnie
vs Uni Bombers (1-1)	Hang thy head in shame
vs Stokes Valley Sunshine (4-0)	BC

BNU Public Dick of the Day
vs Karori Swifts (6-1)	Dom (conceding the goal)
vs Island Bay Piglets (8-0)	?
vs Stokes Valley Destroyers (9-0)	?
vs Wainuiomata (0-0)	MattNich (multiple vehicular indiscretions)
vs BNU Pints (4-1)	MattNich (I thought you said 2:30)
vs Uni Bombers (1-1)	Dan (Own goal)
vs Stokes Valley Sunshine (4-0)	Sam (Blew an open one)

CAPITAL 13: Results 26/05/07
Island Bay Piglets	6	Karori Swifts	4
SV Destroyers	0	Uni Lateral	1
Wainuiomata	3	Porirua City Mana	2
BNU Pints	4	Upper Hutt Slayers	2
SV Sunshine	0	BNU PS	4
Western Suburbs	2	Porirua City	1
Petone Martians	2	Uni Bombers	1

CAPITAL 13:	P	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
BNU PS	7	5	2	0	32	3	+29	17
Wainuiomata	7	4	3	0	16	10	+6	15
SV Sunshine	7	4	1	2	24	17	+7	13
Uni Lateral	7	4	1	2	20	14	+6	13
BNU Pints	7	4	0	3	19	16	+3	12
Island Bay Piglets	7	4	0	3	28	29	-1	12
Petone Martians	7	3	2	2	19	19	0	11
Porirua City	7	3	1	3	15	12	+3	10
Western Suburbs	7	3	0	4	14	21	-7	9
Karori Swifts	7	2	2	3	24	19	+5	8
Uni Bombers	7	2	2	3	10	16	-6	8
SV Destroyers	7	2	0	5	19	28	-9	6
Upper Hutt Slayers	7	1	1	5	22	31	-9	4
Porirua City Mana	7	0	1	6	16	40	-24	1

Phil’s foot. Kudos for playing on man. Bit stupid but Kudos none the less.