Normal service has resumed

The sun crept over the hills flooding the pleasant valley with warmth. The heavy dew from the night before still clung to the earth stubbornly resisting the sun. A gentle breeze floated through the trees and over the fields. All was still and peaceful.

The tranquillity was brutally shattered by a 10 year old boy. They whip he used, probably a gift from a loved one, snapped and banged angrily, the noise reverberating off the close hills. It mixed with the shouts and whistles of the women’s rugby match with the tuneful beauty that you find when mixing Black Sabbath with The Cardiff Boys Choir singing “Jerusalem”. Yip, we had arrived in Stokes Valley. Our opponents, the Stokes Valley Sunshine, at that point second on the table, looked ready for a hefty tussle. Spiked hair, mullets and spiked mullets adorned the heads of the Vallians. For a moment we thought we were playing the wrong team as they all looked to be under the age of 25, an uncommon occurrence in our division.

Recent Public Service (PS) results had failed to impress. A one all draw with league strugglers the Uni Bombers the week before had left some smouldering embers of discontent. Within 10 minutes of kick off, those embers were alight. The Vallians immediately brought the attack to the PS defence. The first ten minutes was a case of both teams testing for possible breakpoints in the defensive line. The Vallians brought with them a hard competitive style of play. Ben Gleisner came under particular attention throughout the match, and was victim to a two foot, studs up, from behind tackle, that would normally have resulted in an instant red card, and a lengthy sideline suspension. However, Div 13 does not offer the luxury referees with such power and despite a free-kick, Ben’s assailant went unpunished, though this scribe suggests that Mr. Gleisner probably got his own back on more than one occasion. In fact they enjoyed such a mighty first half tussle filled with niggle, agro and argy-bargy, that there could be only one winner. It’s a testament to Ben that the prick failed to make an appearance in the second half.

But, to the match commentary we turn. The embers were well and truly ablaze at about the 15 minute mark. After weathering 15 minutes of sustained pressure, though admittedly the Vallians were still to put a real shot on goal, the PS started to take control of proceedings. Gaps suddenly started to appear. Sam Gleisner, having shifted from right back to striker was immediately in action. A punt from Dom was kindly headed toward the Valley goal by a valley defender, right into the path of Sam. A rush blood saw a hastily taken shot, that slid past the right hand upright, but the tide had turned. Minutes later, Sam went from possible hero to automatic Dick of the Day. A perfectly weighted through ball by BC (I think) was chased down by Sam who beat the keeper in a one-on-one but when faced with the ultimately test of the open goal, was found sadly wanting. In fairness, the ball was on his wrong foot, but actually he could have walked the ball into the goal. Despite the miss, the PS could smell blood.

And for the next 20 minutes, the lads played like they had just passed the “every third day is the beer day” bill. The PS opened the scoring with one of the goals of the year. It was memorable not for its Michael Jackson flashiness but for its simplicity and because it was a product of some excellent build up work. A chase by Phil down into the left corner resulted in a corner kick. Phil put in the perfect cross, picked out the head of the imposing BC who thundered home his first of the season.

It had been a while since we had played good football. The self belief flooded back and the whole team lifted and blew the Sunshine away. Jules, a late arrival, came running on and with his first touch of the ball found a very determined Sam, who calmly controlled and crashed home a great finish. The midfield, which consisted at different times of BC, Jules, MattNich, Arnu, Phil, Donnie, Mortgage, Sam, Ben, Nick, AJ, Gimli, and Dan absolutely owned their opposite numbers. 50-50 ball was suddenly 80-20 to us, with fearless heading and competing for the ball. Credit to the Vallians, who had a quick and competitive midfield but lacked imagination and organisation.

The third goal about 10 minutes later, was another example of solid build up work. My memory sucks so I forget the build up details but BC got it about 12 yards out and hammered home a low shot that went underneath a keeper who should have done better. At three nil up the PS strangely took the foot off the throat and coasted through to half time feeling much better about the position they were in.

There were a couple of halftime diatribes about maintaining focus and making sure we didn’t concede any damn consolation goals. The MattNich favourite of nil-all was shouted repeatedly. We expected the Vallians to come out in the second half like a high profile homosexual, i.e. with conviction. They did not disappoint, and while the first half showed some the boundless attacking potential of the PS, the real credit must go to the various defenders, Jules, Arnu, Nick, Gimli, Ben, Dan, MattNich, Sam, Phil, Donnie, BC, AJ and Mortage, who rotated through the four defensive positions with remarkable fluidity, poise and success. The second half was largely a defensive arm wrestle, as the PS went to subcommittees and lost some shape. Ben was once again was the target of the now very desperate Sunshine, coping a near Ben-Thatcher-esque elbow to the head. A cowardly attempt to upset the PS midfielder failed to provoke the desired violent reaction.

On attack the PS were foiled by some dubious offside calls and a clueless ref, but probably didn’t really deserve any second half goals. So when the fourth goal was awarded, on the stroke of fulltime it was considered a very luck bonus. A goal mouth melee for a bobbling ball that the keeper simply could not get his hands on was finally headed into the goal by an ever present BC for a well deserved hat-trick.

A welcome back to utility Andrew ‘AJ’ Johnson, who made his 2007 season debut. A strong performance first up he showed pace and determination that proved inspirational to the team, reflected by the excellent result.

We have a double header this Queen’s birthday weekend against Wests on Saturday and Uni Lateral on Monday. We need a couple of wins to solidify our top of the table position.

STARTING XI: vs Stokes Valley Sunshine 26/05/07
Dom
Sam	Gimli	Mortgage
	Ben
Nick	BC	MattNich
	Phil
	Arnu	Aj
SUBS
	Jules
	Donnie
	Dan
GOALS
	1st Half	2nd Half
	BC 18’	BC 90’
	Sam 25’
	BC 35’

BNU Public Service Golden Boot
Ben	7
Phil	7
Jarrod	5
Jules	3
Donnie	3
BC	3
Arnu	1
Fynny	1
Gimli	1
Sam	1

BNU Public Servant of the Day (SOD)
vs Karori Swifts (6-1)	Phil
vs Island Bay Piglets (8-0)	Phil
vs Stokes Valley Destroyers (9-0)	Ben
vs Wainuiomata (0-0)	Gimli
vs BNU Pints (4-1)	Donnie
vs Uni Bombers (1-1)	Hang thy head in shame
vs Stokes Valley Sunshine (4-0)	BC

BNU Public Dick of the Day
vs Karori Swifts (6-1)	Dom (conceding the goal)
vs Island Bay Piglets (8-0)	?
vs Stokes Valley Destroyers (9-0)	?
vs Wainuiomata (0-0)	MattNich (multiple vehicular indiscretions)
vs BNU Pints (4-1)	MattNich (I thought you said 2:30)
vs Uni Bombers (1-1)	Dan (Own goal)
vs Stokes Valley Sunshine (4-0)	Sam (Blew an open one)

CAPITAL 13: Results 26/05/07
Island Bay Piglets	6	Karori Swifts	4
SV Destroyers	0	Uni Lateral	1
Wainuiomata	3	Porirua City Mana	2
BNU Pints	4	Upper Hutt Slayers	2
SV Sunshine	0	BNU PS	4
Western Suburbs	2	Porirua City	1
Petone Martians	2	Uni Bombers	1

CAPITAL 13:	P	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
BNU PS	7	5	2	0	32	3	+29	17
Wainuiomata	7	4	3	0	16	10	+6	15
SV Sunshine	7	4	1	2	24	17	+7	13
Uni Lateral	7	4	1	2	20	14	+6	13
BNU Pints	7	4	0	3	19	16	+3	12
Island Bay Piglets	7	4	0	3	28	29	-1	12
Petone Martians	7	3	2	2	19	19	0	11
Porirua City	7	3	1	3	15	12	+3	10
Western Suburbs	7	3	0	4	14	21	-7	9
Karori Swifts	7	2	2	3	24	19	+5	8
Uni Bombers	7	2	2	3	10	16	-6	8
SV Destroyers	7	2	0	5	19	28	-9	6
Upper Hutt Slayers	7	1	1	5	22	31	-9	4
Porirua City Mana	7	0	1	6	16	40	-24	1

Phil’s foot. Kudos for playing on man. Bit stupid but Kudos none the less. 

Gash

BNUPS vs Unibombers

We were crap. They confessed that they had played out of their skins. We couldn’t finish. A good goal was scored by Ben. Dan hammered a goal in for the opposition. We need some serious work to improve our stuttering offence, which has failed to fire convincingly since our first three games.

Man of the Match: Brett “BC” Carter

Dick of the Week: Sadly, Dan for the own goal. Sorry Dan, but it was going to miss.

We play 2^nd placed Stokes Valley Sunshine in Stokes Valley on Saturday 26^th of May, at 1230.

With friends like these....

Righto.

The local derby, and if you had asked the Brooklyn Pints’ supporters prior to the match, a battle between the two top teams, both of whom were unbeaten. This despite the Brooklyn Pints boasting a 2 win, 2 loss record and sitting mid-table. After the nil all draw of the week before, there was clearly more purpose in the team that sprinted out for the kick-off. Two early nominations for Dick-of-the-day, Dom (who forgot his keeping gear) and Jarrod (in his last game for 5 weeks – forgot his socks – funny story here to. As we drove off to get his socks, jarrod phoned his better half, who had apparently kindly washed his kit for him, to demand their whereabouts. Conversation went kinda like this. “ I am sooo c****ted. Where are my c****ing socks. The c***s weren’t in my c****ing bag etc etc. Classic stuff Jarrod, you keep her in line, brother), dashed off minutes before kick-off. Arriving several minutes after the scheduled kick-off to the sarcastic applause of the rest of the squad, the Brooklyn Northern Public Service took on a considerably different appearance to that of the week before.

Front: Arnu and Ben

Middle: Dan, Donnie, Fynny (welcomed back with open arms, im sure), Sam

Back: Mortgage, Jules, BC, Nick the Greek (complete with entourage)

Last: Dom Ref: Gimli (son of Gloin)

We had been expecting a tough match. We had heard through someone that they were a bunch of c***s. C***s doesn’t quite cover it all. And if the faulknerian idiot manchildren that populated their supporters sideline is anything to go by, they will be occupying the 13^th division for years to come. It was all in good natured fun they assured us after the match, but one couldn’t help but a feel that there was something personal underlying the abuse they hurtled at us throughout the match. And boy was their abuse clever! They unveiled such pearlers as “do you want a hearing aid ref?” and “Did you leave your glasses at home ref?” That one really brought the house down.

Anyway, the first 15 was a bit of shambles. Kicks going hither and yon with no real structure at all as we struggled to get the pace of the ball and the pitch. Pretty much the usual shizzle. About 20 minutes in we opened the scoring with a blistering strike by Donnie. I think it was Dan that teed him up, I could be wrong. It was awesome though, at least from my angle at the back. A short time later we edged two up when Fynny was set up by Phil ( I think), unloading a rocket which went in off the arm of a defender. Things were looking good at this point. The defence was holding nicely, despite an actually quite capable striker on the Pints’ team. We were starting to string together some nice passing down the sidelines through Sam and Dan, and were only let down by some wayward crossing.

Disaster struck though as Jules put in a very strong case for a Dick-of-the-day nomination. Taking the ball just outside they 18 yard right in front of goal, Jules tried to run around the only player on their team who might have pushed for selection in ours. Unfortunately the longer legs of the Pints’ striker proved the difference and a mean deflection had him (him being Nick Urlich – the BNU top goal scorer for the last few seasons and someone who we must, absolutely must, deny this honour in 2007) in a dangerous one on one with Dom. A moment’s hesitation, possibly a hangover from last week’s suspected concussion, and it was all over. Dom picking the ball out of the back of the net amidst a plethora of expletives and suggestions where Jules could go. The goal is a hell of a lot more sacred this year than last, with the lofty aspirations of conceding less than 6 goals over the season remains high on the list for the BNU Public service priorities.

So it was 2-1 and while the BNUPS were clearly the better team, the game was in the balance. The goal seemed to spur the Pints’ on and some started playing out of their skins. It was only Nick Urlich who kept the defence honest, but it appeared he was doing running out of steam.

My memory goes a bit hazy so Phil has filled some blanks here and there. Cheers Phil.

Dan hustled down the left, ball squirted out down the line, Phil pounced, grabbed the ball and thundered a pass at Arnu who recovered, dribbled past two defenders with a bit of left footed majestry before threading it between two more defenders and in to the waiting possesion of Jarrod who scored a bit of a tap in. The first half finished at 3-1 with a bit of tension in the BNUPS ranks as the chorus of Neanderthals on the Pint’s sideline bombarded the BNUPS with odd calls, animal calls, and tired clichés for the ref, and several players (Ben would have been forgiven for retiring hurt - very hurt indeed for they targeted him mercilessly - Kudos to Ben for doing what Chopper would). There was steely resolve in the team that prepared for the second half with a tense team talk. This contrasted greatly with the Pints who, fittingly, downed a couple and sparked up some of the Mary Jane. Classic.

So the second half, there was a bit of a rejig of positions. Jules joined Jarrod up front and Arnu back-pedalled to right back. They had a few breaks. A tendency for the BNUPS attack and midfield players to casually amble back to defend meant the defence was put under more pressure than was necessary. Gimli, after a fine reffing performance in the first half, played a second half blinder, appeared to be everywhere and defused many Pints’ counterattacks. On the odd occasion they broke through, they were denied by Dom.

It was at about this time that Matt Nichols, clearly not wanting to relinquish the title, earned himself his second Dick of the Day accolade in as many weeks by arriving for what he thought was a 2:30 kick off. A prize will be given to the best nickname offered for Mr Nichols. An out-of-sorts Jules went off and Arnu returned to the front ranks.

The fourth and last goal was scored near the close of the play. Phil lobbed in a (and I quote) *ahem* perfect ball to Ben at the back post who miscued his volley; it went to Arnu who miscued his shot but it ended up back at Ben's feet for the open goal. He was so far offside it wasn't funny. But actually, it was funny.

Leading by 3 goals and with all the possession and position, the BNUPS began to pepper the Pints goal. Dom, vocal throughout the game, and bombarded with abuse by the Pints’ supporters, ventured out of his goal up to the half way line for a Public Service corner. The resulting clearance found the sideline at halfway. As the closest Public Servant, Dom gathered the ball and sent Nick down the sideline with a throw in. In response to this, and clearly referring to her little red book of quotes, comments and clichés, the loudest and stupidest of the supporters shouted out “You dick.”

Sigh.

At least it’s not Marist.

I didn’t get a clear consensus on who was player of the day, so I put it out there that I thought Donnie had a very strong game, as did Gimli when he came on, while Phil and Dan also played well. Email me and let me know.

We play the Uni bombers next week at off/on training ground, Anderson Park in Thorndon at 2:30. That’s two thirty, Matt. Apparently they are a bunch of old fellas, but you can bet there will be some solid ex-players in their, so lets bring our A-game.

Here is the latest table. We are clear first now, and better remain so.

CAPITAL 13:

Western Suburbs                 1    SV Sunshine                   6

Brooklyn Northern                 4    Brooklyn Pints                 1

Porirua City                           3    Uni Bombers                   1

Upper Hutt Slayers               3    Wainuiomata                  3

Porirua City Mana                 3    SV Destroyers                7

Uni Lateral                             0    Island Bay Piglets           1

Karori Swifts                         3    Petone Martians              2

                                              P  W  D  L  GF  GA  Pts

Brooklyn Northern                 5  4  1  0  27   2  13

Wainuiomata                        5  3  2  0  13   8  11

SV Sunshine                         5  3  1  1  19  11  10

Porirua City                           5  3  0  2  14  13   9

Island Bay Piglets                 5  3  0  2  20  20   9

Petone Martians                    5  2  2  1  15  13   8

Uni Lateral                             5  2  1  2  14  11   7

Uni Bombers                         5  2  1  2   8  13   7

Brooklyn Pints                       5  2  0  3  16  13   6

SV Destroyers                      5  2  0  3  18  25   6

Karori Swifts                         5  1  2  2   8  13   5

Upper Hutt Slayers               5  1  1  3  20  18   4

Western Suburbs                 5  1  0  4   7  18   3

Porirua City Mana                 5  0  1  4  11  32   1