With friends like these....

Righto.

The local derby, and if you had asked the Brooklyn Pints’ supporters prior to the match, a battle between the two top teams, both of whom were unbeaten. This despite the Brooklyn Pints boasting a 2 win, 2 loss record and sitting mid-table. After the nil all draw of the week before, there was clearly more purpose in the team that sprinted out for the kick-off. Two early nominations for Dick-of-the-day, Dom (who forgot his keeping gear) and Jarrod (in his last game for 5 weeks – forgot his socks – funny story here to. As we drove off to get his socks, jarrod phoned his better half, who had apparently kindly washed his kit for him, to demand their whereabouts. Conversation went kinda like this. “ I am sooo c****ted. Where are my c****ing socks. The c***s weren’t in my c****ing bag etc etc. Classic stuff Jarrod, you keep her in line, brother), dashed off minutes before kick-off. Arriving several minutes after the scheduled kick-off to the sarcastic applause of the rest of the squad, the Brooklyn Northern Public Service took on a considerably different appearance to that of the week before.

Front: Arnu and Ben

Middle: Dan, Donnie, Fynny (welcomed back with open arms, im sure), Sam

Back: Mortgage, Jules, BC, Nick the Greek (complete with entourage)

Last: Dom Ref: Gimli (son of Gloin)

We had been expecting a tough match. We had heard through someone that they were a bunch of c***s. C***s doesn’t quite cover it all. And if the faulknerian idiot manchildren that populated their supporters sideline is anything to go by, they will be occupying the 13^th division for years to come. It was all in good natured fun they assured us after the match, but one couldn’t help but a feel that there was something personal underlying the abuse they hurtled at us throughout the match. And boy was their abuse clever! They unveiled such pearlers as “do you want a hearing aid ref?” and “Did you leave your glasses at home ref?” That one really brought the house down.

Anyway, the first 15 was a bit of shambles. Kicks going hither and yon with no real structure at all as we struggled to get the pace of the ball and the pitch. Pretty much the usual shizzle. About 20 minutes in we opened the scoring with a blistering strike by Donnie. I think it was Dan that teed him up, I could be wrong. It was awesome though, at least from my angle at the back. A short time later we edged two up when Fynny was set up by Phil ( I think), unloading a rocket which went in off the arm of a defender. Things were looking good at this point. The defence was holding nicely, despite an actually quite capable striker on the Pints’ team. We were starting to string together some nice passing down the sidelines through Sam and Dan, and were only let down by some wayward crossing.

Disaster struck though as Jules put in a very strong case for a Dick-of-the-day nomination. Taking the ball just outside they 18 yard right in front of goal, Jules tried to run around the only player on their team who might have pushed for selection in ours. Unfortunately the longer legs of the Pints’ striker proved the difference and a mean deflection had him (him being Nick Urlich – the BNU top goal scorer for the last few seasons and someone who we must, absolutely must, deny this honour in 2007) in a dangerous one on one with Dom. A moment’s hesitation, possibly a hangover from last week’s suspected concussion, and it was all over. Dom picking the ball out of the back of the net amidst a plethora of expletives and suggestions where Jules could go. The goal is a hell of a lot more sacred this year than last, with the lofty aspirations of conceding less than 6 goals over the season remains high on the list for the BNU Public service priorities.

So it was 2-1 and while the BNUPS were clearly the better team, the game was in the balance. The goal seemed to spur the Pints’ on and some started playing out of their skins. It was only Nick Urlich who kept the defence honest, but it appeared he was doing running out of steam.

My memory goes a bit hazy so Phil has filled some blanks here and there. Cheers Phil.

Dan hustled down the left, ball squirted out down the line, Phil pounced, grabbed the ball and thundered a pass at Arnu who recovered, dribbled past two defenders with a bit of left footed majestry before threading it between two more defenders and in to the waiting possesion of Jarrod who scored a bit of a tap in. The first half finished at 3-1 with a bit of tension in the BNUPS ranks as the chorus of Neanderthals on the Pint’s sideline bombarded the BNUPS with odd calls, animal calls, and tired clichés for the ref, and several players (Ben would have been forgiven for retiring hurt - very hurt indeed for they targeted him mercilessly - Kudos to Ben for doing what Chopper would). There was steely resolve in the team that prepared for the second half with a tense team talk. This contrasted greatly with the Pints who, fittingly, downed a couple and sparked up some of the Mary Jane. Classic.

So the second half, there was a bit of a rejig of positions. Jules joined Jarrod up front and Arnu back-pedalled to right back. They had a few breaks. A tendency for the BNUPS attack and midfield players to casually amble back to defend meant the defence was put under more pressure than was necessary. Gimli, after a fine reffing performance in the first half, played a second half blinder, appeared to be everywhere and defused many Pints’ counterattacks. On the odd occasion they broke through, they were denied by Dom.

It was at about this time that Matt Nichols, clearly not wanting to relinquish the title, earned himself his second Dick of the Day accolade in as many weeks by arriving for what he thought was a 2:30 kick off. A prize will be given to the best nickname offered for Mr Nichols. An out-of-sorts Jules went off and Arnu returned to the front ranks.

The fourth and last goal was scored near the close of the play. Phil lobbed in a (and I quote) *ahem* perfect ball to Ben at the back post who miscued his volley; it went to Arnu who miscued his shot but it ended up back at Ben's feet for the open goal. He was so far offside it wasn't funny. But actually, it was funny.

Leading by 3 goals and with all the possession and position, the BNUPS began to pepper the Pints goal. Dom, vocal throughout the game, and bombarded with abuse by the Pints’ supporters, ventured out of his goal up to the half way line for a Public Service corner. The resulting clearance found the sideline at halfway. As the closest Public Servant, Dom gathered the ball and sent Nick down the sideline with a throw in. In response to this, and clearly referring to her little red book of quotes, comments and clichés, the loudest and stupidest of the supporters shouted out “You dick.”

Sigh.

At least it’s not Marist.

I didn’t get a clear consensus on who was player of the day, so I put it out there that I thought Donnie had a very strong game, as did Gimli when he came on, while Phil and Dan also played well. Email me and let me know.

We play the Uni bombers next week at off/on training ground, Anderson Park in Thorndon at 2:30. That’s two thirty, Matt. Apparently they are a bunch of old fellas, but you can bet there will be some solid ex-players in their, so lets bring our A-game.

Here is the latest table. We are clear first now, and better remain so.

CAPITAL 13:

Western Suburbs                 1    SV Sunshine                   6

Brooklyn Northern                 4    Brooklyn Pints                 1

Porirua City                           3    Uni Bombers                   1

Upper Hutt Slayers               3    Wainuiomata                  3

Porirua City Mana                 3    SV Destroyers                7

Uni Lateral                             0    Island Bay Piglets           1

Karori Swifts                         3    Petone Martians              2

                                              P  W  D  L  GF  GA  Pts

Brooklyn Northern                 5  4  1  0  27   2  13

Wainuiomata                        5  3  2  0  13   8  11

SV Sunshine                         5  3  1  1  19  11  10

Porirua City                           5  3  0  2  14  13   9

Island Bay Piglets                 5  3  0  2  20  20   9

Petone Martians                    5  2  2  1  15  13   8

Uni Lateral                             5  2  1  2  14  11   7

Uni Bombers                         5  2  1  2   8  13   7

Brooklyn Pints                       5  2  0  3  16  13   6

SV Destroyers                      5  2  0  3  18  25   6

Karori Swifts                         5  1  2  2   8  13   5

Upper Hutt Slayers               5  1  1  3  20  18   4

Western Suburbs                 5  1  0  4   7  18   3

Porirua City Mana                 5  0  1  4  11  32   1