Hey, its a start

The first time I’m free to put a few words down about our latest skirmish and it’s the weekend we don’t crush our opponents like a militant uprising in Basra. In fact this was like a military uprising in Basra. No matter how many times we tried to deliver the killer blow, something would always deny us victory. In this case it was a jive talking, scmoove movin, brother who in between forming an impregnable wall that we couldn’t smash through, would dance and a quietly sing to himself.

On this weekend, we crossed the misty mountains and travelled into Mordor for a battle royal against the holders of second place on the table, Wainui Rednecks. They had had some interesting results, 3 wins from 3, but this still suggested they might meet the same fate as Island Bay Pigs, Karori Spliffs, and the Stokes Valley Bogans, and go down in a screaming horrible heap of goals.

The BNU Public Service looked resplendent in their brand new adidas Predator kit. The bright white and sharp black, standing out well against the greenery and overcast conditions of the actually quite acceptable Richard Prouse park, hidden deep in the Wainui Valley. However only 11 made it to the park on time, utility Matt “Gimli” Evans thought the game started at 3:30 (and considering this, still arrived late), and utility Matt Nicholls, who sadly fell foul of John Q. Law in transit. An unlicensed, unwarranted vehicle, had poor Matt scuttling back home with dashed hopes and a huge fine. Take heart young Matt, in knowing that at least you filled some pig’s quota in one hit.

So with Matt and Gimli out of contention, and the World Trade Centre pairing of Brett Carter and Hayden "Monty" Montgomery out on business, utility Ben Gleisner and utility Jules Gibbs filled the back positions, with utilities Arnu “Emu” Turvey and Jarrod Clyne slotting in up front. Behind them was utility Phil Houlding in the centre, alongside utility Matt “Donnie” Tait. Utilities Dan Fourro, and Nick Jeffs, filled the left and right wings respectively. And occupying the left and right wing back positions was utility Chris “Mortgage” Sutton and utility John “Johnny” Fromont. Keeping the goal was Dom Gibbs. Unavailible for selction were utility Andrew "AJ" Johnson (shaping NZ's future), and utility Sam Gleisner. The extensive pre-game warmups by the BNUPS suggested great things. The game did not quite deliver.

Wainui kicked off and immediately showed how they would play the game over the next 90 minutes, by wellying it down the wing for their forwards to chase. Jules remarked after the game that this was the first time this season that he had actually been required to shift up a gear in chasing down the forwards. Wainui were interesting in that respect in that they were the first team that we had played who didn’t have someone over the age of 40 occupying some space on the field.

A counter attack down the right wing saw Jarrod fire in a sharp cross that Arnu meet perfectly with his head. Unfortunately and what was to be a precursor for every single other shot on the Wainui goal made that day, he picked out the keeper. Following this shot Donnie, Ben, Phil, Jarrod, Jules, Nick and Dan would all fire quality shots at exactly the spot that was occupied by the Wainui keeper. And there were plenty of shots too.

While the Wainui team were the strongest we have played this year, the BNU goal was rarely threatened, and when it was, Dom delivered the ultimate punishment to whoever dared venture into the few metres just outside the 18 yard box. The left wing with the gay orange boots will never make that mistake again. He may also never write with his left hand again. Ah well, he did get a cheer for the acrobatic flip he performed for all those watching the action. Following this tackle there was a brief but heated exchange, where Mortgage commented on an opposition player's mental capacity, and Phil followed this up with the memorable "Its the highlight of his week lads. He's been on a hiding to nothing his whole life. A ginger beard and he lives in Wainui." Sad, but true.

So 90 minutes passed without a goal being scored. A first for the BNU this season, and following the previous weeks goal vomit, a sobering reminder that there is still some football to be played this season.

Phil has volunteered the following summation of the goals from the first three games.

BNU goals 2007

Vs Karori, Newtown Park 14/4/07

Won 6-1

1) Jules: passing a bit, nice finish bottom corner

2) Jules: lobbed in to box, nice volley over keeper into left hand corner

3) Phil: Corner bobbled in box, out to edge of area, control on thigh, volley into bottom right hand corner

4) Phil: Nice move down left, Jarrod inside to Phil, nowhere to go, looks up for a shot from outside the area, into bottom right hand corner

5) Ben: Played out from the back by Johnny to Phil, plays in Jules overlapping down the right, slips it to Ben who takes a touch in the box and rifles it into the left hand side of the goal with his left foot

6) Phil: free-kick from Donny bounces once in the area, is left by Ben for Phil who volleys home down the middle

Golden Boot: Phil 3, Jules 2, Ben 1

Vs Island Bay, Wakefield Park 3, 21/4/07

Won 8-0

1) Jarrod: four or five shots saved by keeper; comes out finally to Jarrod on edge of area who karate kicks it into left hand side

2) Jules: shot deflected by keeper for Jules who rams home rebound

3) Ben: quality football, Jules chases down a cross, plays in to Ben who hits first time shot sweetly into right hand side of goal, one foot inside upright – keeper no chance

4) Phil: Ball into the box bouncing around; Ben controls, plays to Jarrod who leaves for Phil to hit left footed volley into bottom right hand corner

5) Donny: Beats three men in midfield and chips keeper from 25 metres; cracker

6) Phil: Jarrod tees up ball in box after defence fails to clear; strong shot hits defender in back and deflects into goal; keeper no chance

7) Donny: Phil passes to Donny on edge of area, has a look up and rifles into roof of net with left foot

8) Phil: beats a couple, hits weak left foot shot from outside box, keeper has a shocker and lets through hands into bottom right hand corner

Golden Boot: Phil 6, Jules 3, Ben 2, Donny 2, Jarrod 1

Vs Stokes Valley, Happy Valley, 28/4/07

1) OG: Gimli crosses from left and hapless SV defender slices into own net

2) Ben: Goal kick scuffed out to Ben who beats two players before putting in a shot that the keeper lets slide under his body

3) Jarrod: cross from Sam bounces round the box before Jarrod forces home

4) Ben: Corner straight in from the right, Ben powers a free header past the keeper into the top of the goal

5) Ben: Phil has crappy shot from edge of box, SV defender fails to clear and Ben slams home hat-trick goal

6) Arnu: Dan ghosts into area on left and crosses for Arnu to finish from a yard out into open goal

7) Phil: BC (?) plays ball down the line, Ben steps over it and Jarrod runs onto it down the right hand flank, crosses for Phil who heads over the keeper

8) Jarrod: Goal kick from Monty sails with the wind over the defence for Phil to run on to; sees Jarrod at top of box with nobody in the same time-zone, passes it across, Jarrod takes a touch and finishes clinically

9) Jarrod: Pinball in the box; Jarrod slams into roof of net from ten yards

Golden Boot: Phil 7, Ben 5, Jarrod 4, Jules 3, Donny 2, Arnu 1, OG 1

Mahalo

Gibbs

Here is the latest table.